"Healing the sick without getting paid is socialism".
"Don't feed the poor, it makes them lazy".
"You shall not bear false witness. Unless you're trying to start a war".
"You have the poor always among you. It keeps labor costs down".
"Love your enemy, unless you can make more money killing him".
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, unless they have your oil under their sand, in which case all bets are off".
"Blessed are the warmongers".
"No one can come to the Father, except through me and only if he votes Republican".
"It is for freedom I have set you free to invade".
"If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also, then reach into your boot for your gun".
"A man's life is not in the abundance of his possessions if he is a lazy ass and can't afford a flatpanel and a big house".
"Blessed are the wealthy".
"It is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven, unless he votes Republican."
"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick, as long as they can pay for one and make sure to cover the profit margin".